he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize