i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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