Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
