The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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