I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
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I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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