East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
