whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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