there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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