went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
