Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
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He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
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I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Couch. On fire.
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