I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize