i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
