Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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