I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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