therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
