I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
