After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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