theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
