I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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