am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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