oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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