I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
