ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
