This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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