Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
