Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
