Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
