Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
