they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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