a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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