Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Is her dick bigger than yours?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
