That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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