Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize