Are we in a gay sports bar?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
