FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize