YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
