It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
