Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
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Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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