I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
