I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
