i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
