thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
