Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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