Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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