well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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