another moral hangover. fuck.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
