I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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