shes about as inviting as chlamydia
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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