dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
operation harelip BJ is a go
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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