She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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