i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Randomize
