I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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