I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize