Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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