This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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