This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!