i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants