in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
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Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
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If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?