I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.