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Having a random hookup so left but love u
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Randomize
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