Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
