Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
