What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
